Journal of a Russian Imperial Guard soldier #18

Ipatiev House, July 1918

Guards were harassing the grand duchesses in their bedroom. They demanded the girls' bracelets and anymore valuables they may be hiding. I went in and told them to leave but they ignored me. When they grew more aggressive towards the girls, I wrested a pistol from their grasp and fired a shot across the room that got their attention. One of the thugs did a cut-throat gesture at me as I forced them out at gunpoint. They all reeked of alcohol.

The commissar came in shortly afterwards. I surrendered the pistol willingly, but he said that I will be expelled from the house for attacking his men. I argued that their hostile and drunken behaviour had forced my hand, but he was beyond reasoning. He gave me an hour to gather my belongings and say my goodbyes to the family, after which I will be escorted to the train station to rejoin the rest of the Romanov entourage.

Nicholas and Alexandra warned me to expect to be arrested once I step outside the fence. They are extremely sad to lose another loyal servant but Alexandra asked me not to endanger her family by trying to rescue them. When I left their bedroom, Anastasia quickly hugged me. There were tears in her eyes. She is afraid of what the Bolsheviks might do to me. We went back into the girls' bedroom. The grand duchesses are grateful for what I did earlier. I could not promise them if we will see each other again. They took turns to hug me, praying for my safety. Marie removed her necklace which carries a religious icon and hung it around my neck. She wants me to return it to her when we are reunited.

I implored Olga to end her rift with Marie. In return, Olga asked me to deliver a letter to her aunt if I see her. She does not want the secret police to intercept it. Marie assured me that she holds no grudges towards her sister. I told her to stay close to her family no matter what happens. I will be leaving my journal with them as a farewell gift. Just needed to destroy a few pages that are private to me. Olga, Tatiana, Marie and Anastasia: I want you all to know that I deeply care about you and that I will never forget you or your family. Take care of yourselves. Until we meet again.